This is everything that’s right with the internet.
I’ve been so busy that I missed my most favorite annual event – the Bulwer-Lytton bad fiction writing contest! This year’s entries are all pretty fabulous, but my personal favorite is the winner in the romance category:
It seemed fair to say that her werewolfism was putting a strain on their relationship, the way she had earned the ire of the neighbors by devouring their pets and howling far past the bedtimes of their children, but bring it up to her, and she’d just snarl, “Why do you keep harping on this?” around a mouthful of the Smiths’ cat. — Eva Niessner, Cockeysville, MD
What’s your favorite?
Note that the video opens with an ant prominently featured. The Prodigy knows what I’m talking about.
I got a voicemail in the evening yesterday – Mowgli’s biopsy results came back a bit earlier than expected. And they’re finally conclusive – the tumor that we had removed was in fact a type of cancer. It’s a type of cancer that is common to the breed – his hairless tummy and white hair put him at risk for sunburn. He takes after me in that respect. The good news is that it’s a type of skin cancer that’s generally very low risk in terms of metastasizing to other parts of the body and based on the lab work, the pathologists are fairly certain that we removed all of the cancer with the surgery last week. He is at risk for future skin cancers and Mowgli’s a big big fan of sunbathing so going forward we will need to get really aggressive with sunblock – anyone had any luck with doggie shirts or sunscreen? I tried some sunscreen previously and he just tried to lick it off. He’s also got skin allergies so…
Anyway, now we know! He’s healing up well and his energy has come back so we have to really keep an eye on his stitches to make sure they don’t get popped or infected at this stage. I THINK his seeping has stopped so we’ve got 6 more days of this till the stitches come out and then it’s back to normal.
Thank you to everyone for all the love and support this past week!
Surgery on Thursday went well. They removed the lump and kept him for observation and I went to pick him up when I got the all clear. The incision is several inches long and is in kind of a tough place to bandage. The lump was the size of a large gumball/jawbreaker so there’s a considerable amount of ouchiness to his hindquarters right now.
On Thursday my primary job was to monitor his food and water intake as he was still getting over the general anesthetic. After the long fast there was a risk he’d have a very upset stoma he and there would be vomiting. He’d also had both an IV and a catheter so I needed to keep a really close eye on him to make sure he didn’t have any reactions. I’d picked up an inflatable collar to try in lieu of a cone of shame as I thought it might be more comfortable. Turns out it both works in terms of keeping him from getting to the sutures and him being totally ok with it. I think he likes having a portable pillow – he’s a big fan of pillows. So he’s got his donut on pretty much all the time right now.
Infection and ripping the sutures are the biggest risks right now so we’ve needed to keep a close eye on him as his incision starts to heal. There’s a piece at the end that periodically seeps so we’ve had to apply surgical pads and pressure and wrap him up from time to time this weekend. I need to change the bedding because he seeped onto the bedding last night – which is why I picked up a couple of great and very washable comforters at Costco last week. Much laundry will be happening today.
The vet had warned me he might be crabby on Thursday night and they weren’t lying. When I picked him up while he was slightly groggy and entirely annoyed with me. I mean, I literally got a cold shoulder for most of Thursday. He was definitely annoyed that he had been betrayed. Thursday night his appetite picked up and he was SUPER annoyed that he wasn’t being allowed a normal sized meal. When his painkillers wore off late in the evening it become clear he was in pain. Poor little man was crying at one point and wanted nothing but cuddles. We lifted him into bed with us (he’s on very restricted motion for 2 weeks to keep him from pulling his sutures open) and he finally stopped crying when I wedged him between us while holding his head in my arms. Poor baby. It was the most pitiful thing ever.
It’s been better every day since though we’re still getting fitful nights of sleep. Like I said, he’s had some seepage problems at night so we’re on high alert every time he moves. The expectation is that as it heals he’ll want to get more active, which is not allowed. He’ll want to lick because it will start to get itchy, which is not allowed. He wants to go outside which he can’t. So I expect there will be a lot of yelling and pouting and whining over the next week. He gets his stitches out in 10 days or so. God help us all.
I’m tied to the house for a couple of more days as it’s still seeping and I need to keep an eye on it. He’s not allowed to go for walks. He’s not allowed access to the backyard. He has to go to the bathroom on a leash, which has been tough as he’s what I call a polite pooper – he doesn’t like to poop in places in the backyard (I appreciate him trying to keep it clean) and he generally tries to get as far away as possible. We’re having to cheat a little by walking him off the property to get him to poop. He really can’t lick or tear out the sutures and we need to constantly keep an eye out for infection. We will all be glad when he’s back to normal.
In the meantime, he’s super cuddly. He’s actually sleeping on my legs in this one.
They sent the entire mass that they removed out to a lab so we should get pathology results next week sometime. Fingers crossed it’s not cancer!
Today is Mowgli day! Well, at my house every day is Mowgli day but today is our furry son’s birthday! He’s either 7 or 8 today and to celebrate he’s having surgery to remove his creepy tumor.
This is what Mowgli had to say about it this morning.
He goes under the knife at around noon and i’ll pick up him back at around 4:30. He’s going to have a good sized chunk removed from his belly/groin area so I expect I’ll be on doggie “LEAVE IT ALONE” suture duty for the next week or so. A cone of shame may be in his future. We’ll be sending the whole mass off to the lab for a full biopsy to see if we can finally get a handle on what it is. It’s possibly cancer, it’s possibly not. It’s possibly a fibroid, it’s possible not. Either way, in the next week or so we should finally know what’s going on and how to continue treatment. He’s been feeling great this week so I hope that with a few days of drugged relaxation he’ll be back to his bouncy self. In the meantime, we’ll celebrate his birthday with much cuddling and the vet and all the ladies at the office promised to give him birthday treats once he’s able to take food again.
Send good vibes and birthday wishes to the Mowgli!
I will miss you, Dr. Egon Spengler. You made me laugh in front of the camera and behind it.
There is an HR Giger hotel coming to America. Look at this thing, it looks like a xenomorph queen made her own palace. Who wants to go with me to visit when this terrifying beauty opens?