I’ve never really had regularly remembered fun vivid dreams. Until recently. A few months ago I had a dream that I was in a movie with Michael Keaton. It was nice to see him working, if only in my head.
Last night I dreamt that I was off roading in St. Louis for some reason and stumbled across this crazy pig farm/pig park. I got to wander around their facility, which was also prepping for a beauty pageant. While admiring the baby pigs, one little guy started following me around. One of the docents approached me and said they had a pig foster program, so I could take the adorable little guy home. I. Was. Stoked. But then she said I could only have him for five months because after that, he’d hit maturity and could get really aggressive and mean. So I’d have to return him. So they could KILL him. I was horrified. She tried to upsell me on the fact that, when the slaughtered him, I could have his bacon. She was really cheery about this. I said “Lady, I love bacon, don’t get me wrong, but I don’t want to eat bacon of the animal that I raised!” And she was genuinely unclear on why this was, you know, INSANELY CREEPY. Then I started plotting ways to “liberate” my little hammy friend but the stupid alarm clock went off. So I think my pal Hamlet got turned into bacon.
Who dreams this stuff? Oh right, I do.
How cute is that li’l guy in his rain boots?