The One Where I Get Mauled

This afternoon my husband and I decided that we wanted to go for a walk together. We used to do this all the time but haven’t for quite a while, largely due to my ankle injury. So we get all iPodded up and ready to walk. We’re about 3 minutes from home and turn onto a quite residential loop that we walk. As we turn the corner we see at the first house a man, cleaning out his SUV, and his dog, just hanging out with him. I think to myself “I wonder what kind of dog that is?” And as we walk nearer, the dog runs out barking. We both stopped, because generally, there’s just a lot of barking. And then my brain says “what the sweet bunny rabbit? This dog’s not stopping!” And before we realize what’s happening, the dog is on us. I swear I saw it look to my husband and swerve to me. Prolly realized that husband is a MUCH larger, more dangerous target. He thinks it is because of my love of bacon. I put my hands out to keep the dog away and it swings to my right side. And then my brain registers “CRAP! That’s bone in my hand getting crunched! MOThertrUCKEr!” I registered the fact that the homeowner was trying to call in the dog and then I’m squeezing my hand because it’s bleeding.

To illustrate the ferocity of said dog, it more more like this:

Snarling dog
or this:

Attacking dog

And less like this:


Sleepy Ilse

So the nice man took me in to the house where I ran a lot of cold water over my hand. I knew there was a bleeding puncture on the side of my hand, in the curve between my thumb and pointer finger. I didn’t realize I’d scratched up the top of my hand till I flipped it over. Then the nice man got some peroxide, and we started rinsing it with peroxide. After awhile I got the bleeding to ease up and we bandaged it and took off. Husband insisted on my going to a doctor, STAT, to get it looked at.

So… at this point it’s about 1:30 and we roll into my favorite urgent care center. They’re usually pretty quick so I figured no biggie. One tetanus shot, one wound cleaning, and 4 hours later, we left at 5pm. And we hadn’t had any lunch. So we were smelly, tired, hungry, and, you know, MAULED. Tomorrow I start on 10 days of antibiotic treatment.

Here’s what the top of my hand looked like when we got home.

Mauled hand

It actually looks cooler now because you can totally see rows of tooth scrapes that swelled up and appeared a few hours later.


The story will prolly have another chapter because the doctor was required to fill out some kind of dog attack form and file it with animal control. I expect I will hear from them, as will the dog’s owners. It was kind of a freak accident, and they seemed genuinely concerned so I’m not looking to start a big legal thing. I did fail to ask if the dog was up to date on its shots though, so that will likely come up in the next day or two. Raibies treatment would really, really, suck. But I don’t feel like that’s really an issue.

It did make for a pretty crappy Saturday. And will make work tough next week. Why couldn’t the dog bite my pinky finger? I don’t need that finger too much. Stupid selfish dog.

Moral of the story? Fresh air and exercise kills. This is why I’m now safely ensconced on the couch with a bag of Lays and watching hockey.

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6 thoughts on “The One Where I Get Mauled”

  1. Dude, totally 100% uncool. What the hell man. You seem to be more calm and collect about the whole thing, I would have dumped a whole clip into that dog.

    What a total freaking bum deal. Keep us continued as the drama unfolds. Dude owes you a million apologies and I hope the animal control ppl take a close look at this. Makes me wonder if this is the first time the dog has done that.

  2. Despite being a highly subjective mother, I don’t think Ilse has ever been an example of a good well behaved dog. Although to be fair you did show her sleeping and her mischevious quotient goes way down when unconcious.

    I’m glad you are ok and the owners seemed appropriately mortified. Dude, where was the secret service body shield leap Andrew should have done?? Weak AWad Weak.

  3. Jyoseph – On the one hand, I’m like “dogs are sometimes nuts” and whatnot. On the other hand I’m thinking “WTF? You shouldn’t have that dog off leash! Plus, you have a small baby!”

    Katherine – Ilse’s a doll. A doll who can work her system. 😉 Andrew felt really bad. He didn’t realize I’d been bit till I grabbed my hand and started swearing.

    My World – I was just stunned more than anything. I mean, WTF?

  4. I could probably go without my right pinky, but trying to hit Ctrl (or Cmd for you Apple people) with a pinkyless left hand would definitely affect my productivity.

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